Adulting
by ezmodo
Summary: Ruby and Jaune get ready for their next mission.


"Off to save the world again, Miss Ruby?"

"Nah, just Vacuo this time," Ruby joked. "Vale's going to have to warm up if it wants saving."

The shop keep, an elderly man with kind eyes comically enlarged by thick-lensed glasses, laughed jovially as he rang up her items. The counter was piled high with their normal pre-mission necessities which she transferred to her backpack as the man punched the price into the register. She really liked this shop. It was a bit of a walk from her apartment out on the edge of the city but it was low traffic and mostly frequented by an older crowd that didn't go gaga over _the _Ruby Rose.

It had been over two years since Salem's defeat and people still wanted handshakes (sure) and autographs (awkward) and pictures (awkwarder) and hugs (nope!) from the "savior" of Remnant. Ruby had never been the most sociable person before everyone on Remnant knew her name and now she took every opportunity to avoid attention. What bothered her most was that she got all the credit. Her teammates got notoriety in their own ways – Weiss, the outwardly cold but caring co-head of the SDC; Blake, the soon-to-be leader of Menagerie and unofficial diplomat of the Faunus people; and Yang, expert huntress and regular tournament champion – but it was always the _leader _of Team RWBY who saved the world, not _Team _RWBY. And people didn't even know who Team JNPR _were_.

"How long will you two be gone this time?" the man asked as he handed over her change.

Ruby thought it over briefly as she straightened out her pack. "Probably won't be back until summer. Depends on what missions are available once we end up at Shade."

"Well," he said, "you two keep safe out there. Give Mister Jaune my regards."

"Can do!" she responded cheerily, fixing her hood as she stepped out into the cold winter day.

"And let me know when I need to start stocking diapers!" he called after her.

She yanked the door shut a _little _hard at that, cutting off the shop keep's good-natured laughter.

—

Ruby held her hood down from the wind as she rushed home. Winter had barely started but the cold was already brutal. The wind was thankfully at her back but it still cut right through her, pushing her to hurry that much more. Her face, at least, was warm, thanks to the shop keep's parting words.

_Why is everyone so baby crazy?_ she thought sourly. Yang was easily the worst. Her sister was ready (practically desperate if you asked Ruby) to be the "cool" aunt. Nora was a close second. She was already planning play dates for Ruby's not-even-a-twinkle-in-_anybody's_-eye and Nora's little Hei, ignoring the fact that they lived on different continents. Weiss was pragmatic and blunt – Ruby honestly expected a slideshow presentation complete with charts and graphs on the benefits of starting a family early the next time they found themselves up in Atlas. Blake had quieted down recently; Ruby suspected that Blake's mom had started giving her the same spiel. Ruby's father, ironically, never brought it up once. Thank the gods for small miracles.

The Grimm didn't magically vanish into thin air when Salem was defeated. Bandits didn't trade in their swords for spades and hoes. There were still battles to be fought and people to save. Ruby knew starting a family wouldn't stop her from being a huntress but she was living her dream. Why change things up now when they were practically perfect?

She wondered if Jaune got the same treatment on his end. Maybe having seven sisters and gods knew how many nieces and nephews already spared him the worst of it from his parents. He was the only boy, though, and he inherited Crocea Mors. She had met his parents twice before but they never seemed overly concerned about the family legacy. Jaune himself hadn't brought it up but she suspected he felt much the same as her – getting to travel the world helping people with the love of their life at their side? Life was good.

Rounding the corner, home finally came into view. The two story apartment building was old but far from rundown. Six of the eight units were occupied by other traveling huntsmen, meaning they rarely ever saw their neighbors. The large courtyard out back provided an area for training in between missions, though she and Jaune rarely used it much, endeavoring to leave their apartment as little as possible during those few weeks out of the year they were at home.

The landlady was a giant ox of a woman, literally. The Faunus stood a head taller than even Jaune and cut an imposing figure, often standing out in front of the complex, cigarette clenched between her teeth and muscled arms folded across her chest. Despite her gruff exterior the woman was practically a sweet grandma on the inside, a wizard with casseroles and soufflés. More than a few times while they were home she would make dinner for them, bringing a giant dish of deliciousness over in exchange for stories of their missions. She wasn't loitering outside as Ruby approached and began climbing the steps to their unit. This lousy cold must have been enough to keep even her indoors. _If it's going to be cold then it should at least have the decency to snow and make it worth it,_ Ruby groused.

Ruby could hear muffled music through the door as she came up to her apartment; Jaune must have beaten her back. They split up the last of their errands earlier. Ruby would finalize the particulars of their trip – verify contact with their first employer, secure bullhead tickets for the following morning, and pick up some last minute supplies on the way back, while Jaune would hit the laundromat and finish up their last load of laundry before they packed. She'd take walking back and forth across the city over the laundromat any day. Stuck in a cramped, stuffy room full of strangers who might want to chit chat for a couple hours? No thanks.

The door was left unlocked and she let herself in, quietly closing the door behind her. The music was coming from the kitchen, some girly pop song that had some not-_quite_-as-girly accompaniment. She could smell something cooking. Ruby sat in the cramped entryway and stripped off her hood, bag, and boots, humming along with Jaune as he mangled what was probably a top ten hit.

He most likely hadn't heard her come in. Jaune could be a bit oblivious, in more ways than just the romantic. Ruby was convinced Jaune could be devoured by a Grimm right in his bedroll and not wake up until he was inside its stomach if she weren't watching out for him. So, padding over to the kitchen without even trying to be sneaky, Ruby found him hamming it up, ignorant of his new audience.

Jaune Arc was standing in front of the stove, back to her, bopping from foot to foot along with the music. Clad only in black boxer briefs, a pair of limited edition Pumpkin Pete's bunny slippers (don't ask how many box tops _those _cost), and her own bright red apron that could just barely be tied around his broad back, Jaune put on quite the performance. Singing dramatically into a large rubber spoon, he hit notes that would have sent Zwei into a howling fit. At times he'd just bounce in place, pointing towards an invisible crowd as he crooned along with the song. And then he'd be sliding back and forth in front of the stove, shaking his rump and pulling moves that looked more like a medical condition than dancing.

Ruby quietly enjoyed the view as she thought of how best to mess with him. Clear her throat dramatically? Too cliché. Take a video? She left her scroll by the door with her backpack and she honestly didn't want to miss a second of him dancing around in his underwear. She brought her hands to her mouth, still cold from outside, and blew to try to warm them. Inspiration struck. _Jaune looks pretty warm…_

Jaune had settled into a more reserved hip shake while he stirred whatever he was cooking on the stove. Ruby sidled up behind him quietly, holding her breath, and waited for the perfect moment to strike. She didn't have to wait long as Jaune, satisfied with whatever he was working on, sat the spoon off to the side on a spare plate and went to turn off the heat. Ruby closed the distance instantly, wrapping her arms around him and pressing her cold body against his back.

Jaune gave a girly shriek and leapt into the air in fright, managing to drag Ruby up off the ground with him. Ruby let her hands travel up to his chest, feeling his heart pound as she pressed a cold cheek into his back. Jaune whined and tried to writhe away from the sudden chill.

"When'd you get back?" he asked, still trying to worm away from his frozen partner.

Ruby turned her head, switching one cold cheek for a colder one, causing Jaune to flinch. "In time for the concert," she said cheerily, rubbing her cheek into muscle. She started to pull away, causing Jaune to sag in relief, before quickly snaking her hands under his apron and tightening her grip. Jaune squealed and made to break free. Ruby responded by leaping onto his back, wrapping her chilly legs around his waist while he flailed around their small kitchen.

It didn't take long for him to give up. Panting for breath, he leaned back onto the counter. Ruby released him with a peck on the shoulder blade and a pat on the head. He grumbled in response as he stepped away, letting Ruby rest on the countertop.

"So, what's for dinner?" she asked innocently, as if she hadn't just submitted him to torture.

Jaune took a moment to straighten out the apron before turning back to her. It was several sizes too small for him (it was hers) and she was honestly pretty impressed that he had managed to tie it off at all. A cartoonish Ursa face was stretched across his chest, not quite reaching far enough to completely hide his pecs. It went down to about mid-thigh, covering his underwear and giving the impression that maybe that apron was all he was wearing. Ruby could _definitely_ appreciate that.

"I've got good news and bad news and some more good news. First," he said, both hands raised in a high five, "Mission accomplished – we've eaten every last bit of food in the apartment right before leaving."

Ruby met his double high five enthusiastically with a shouted "boom!" She would never admit it to their friends but that was actually something they'd been trying to get right since moving in. It was surprisingly hard to do. She hated throwing out food right before a mission and a huntress could only live so long on pizza and takeout alone.

"What's the bad news?" Ruby asked, leaning over to take a peek at the pot on the stove.

"Dinner tonight is mac and cheese. But we were out of milk so I had to make it with water."

Ruby shrugged. That was survivable.

"But! We've got not one, not three, but TWO hotdogs chopped up in there," he added proudly, getting a snort from Ruby. "Oh! And for dessert…"

Jaune opened the fridge and held a clear plastic bowl sealed in plastic wrap high over his head, as if to present the next animal king of Vacuo to his subjects.

"Mrs. Umber, the One True Landlady, long may she reign, has gifted us with cinnamon sugar cookies!"

Ruby jumped down from the counter. "The oven's finally fixed?!" They kept forgetting to tell the landlady about it!

Jaune froze momentarily before clearing his throat.

"Mrs. Umber, the One True etc. etc. has gifted us with cinnamon sugar cookie dough!"

—

Ruby made her way back to their bedroom and changed into pajama pants and one of Jaune's shirts that she pulled from the pile of unfolded laundry strewn across their bed. They'd pack it up properly before going to sleep. Or, more likely, they'd fall asleep on the couch and scramble to pack tomorrow morning before heading to the airport.

She rejoined him in the living room where he was putting their bowls down on the makeshift coffee table in front of the couch. The only proper furniture they had was that couch, their bed, and the workbench they kept in the second bedroom for weapon maintenance. The rest of their "furniture" consisted of boxes. Coffee table? Microwave and toaster oven box. Nightstand? Box marked "books". TV stand? The box with the TV stand still inside.

Yang and her dad had given them plenty of guff about that whenever they visited. Ruby didn't see the point. They spent most of the year out on missions and when they were home they spent all their time in bed or watching TV on the couch. Why worry about the rest? It seemed smarter to save their money anyway.

More than a year ago, Weiss had rounded all of their friends together and basically badgered them into setting up a _something_RA through the SDC. A portion of their earnings went straight into it without Ruby or Jaune having to mess with it at all. Ruby didn't really get the specifics, but Weiss assured her it would let them retire and not have to worry about lien in the future. But why would she want to retire? _Huntress for life, baby._

Ruby sunk into the couch and clicked on the TV as Jaune joined her. The added weight pulled her in comfortably against his side. "Wanna finish up Lodge Lodge?" she asked, already navigating through the menus to the cartoon.

"Mmm," he agreed, mouth full of cheesy noodles. He chewed thoughtfully, a frown slowly growing on his face.

"Mmwha?" she asked, mouth equally full of cheesy noodles.

He swallowed with a grimace. "We don't have any food for breakfast."

"We'll grab donuts or something on the way. No prob," she said with a shrug. "I'm still crossing "Buy Just the Right Amount of Food So You Don't Have to Throw Any Out" off of the bucket list."

"We are terrible adults," he laughed.

"Psssshh, if this is terrible then I don't want to be good," she said, sinking further into his side as the cartoon theme song kicked in.


End file.
